It's been an interesting set of weeks.
It seems I cannot completely shake this viral infection that's taken hold of my body.
I beat it into submission for a while, but it then flares up unexpectedly when I am feeling at my best.
I was adamant about not reaching the lows of before and I monitored my fever as it rose higher and higher. I followed medical advise and took clinical strength Motrin to bring it down, as Tylenol is verboten. It worked. My fever was controlled. I was proud of myself... until the fatigue kicked in.
I was tired.
People noticed my pallor.
I couldn't walk 3 feet without sucking air.
I recognized the symptoms. A doctor confirmed it. I was running out of blood.
Seems the Motrin that kept me out of the emergency room by controlling my fever, thinned my blood out so much, I was bleeding through my veins.
Damned if I do, damned if I don't.
One blood transfusion later, and I'm sitting here wondering what I can do to prevent THIS from happening again.
Motrin is now on the list of banned medications along with Tylenol. As is any other medication that may thin my blood, or affect my liver.
It's times like these that cause me to ask the very cliched "Why bother?"
Why should I fight?
Why don't I just lay down and follow the Beatles' advise and Let It Be?
I stare at the bruises on my arms as they remind me, no matter how good I feel, I am not good. I'll never be good again.
