I found love in a hopeless place...

We all take things for granted on a daily basis. I'm no more guilty of this than I am less guilty of this.

I take the fact that the sun will rise tomorrow for granted.

I take for granted that when I wake up there will be food ready for me to eat, courtesy of my ever suffering and overworked spouse.

I don't worry about these things, whether big or small, because I've come to rely on them. They are facts, in my world. They are unchangeable, steadfast & permanent.

I'm wrong, of course. As I am about a great many things.

That's the thing about taking things for granted. You never realize you do so until your world is shook, and you come to find out that permanence isn't always permanent.

I used to take for granted the fact that I could easily walk from here to there, or I could eat anything I wanted without an adverse effect, or even that if I cut myself I would clot SO fast there was no need for a bandaid.

Having been dealt a blow to my worldview in the past so many months, I am now less inclined to take stuff like that for granted. I know now, that it's only matter of time before I find it harder to walk, or when my diet will be restricted even further, or when I will bleed out.

I'm more aware of my blessings, in essence. I'm conscious of the good, where before it was an afterthought, if I even thought of it at all.

The odd thing about this transformation of my perception is that I have been granted a new view, not just of my world, but of myself. I don't take myself for granted anymore.

I'm working on improving myself, because I realized once I discovered I was taking myself for granted, I was also neglecting myself. I don't know why. It could have been residual teenage self-loathing, age related depression, or simply laziness. Perhaps the truth lies in a combination of all three with some yet undiscovered cause. I don't know, and I don't care. All I know is that it's over.

Like with many things taken for granted, the power lies in ignorance. Once you know you're taking something for granted, you tend to do it less, even if just out of guilt. Boom. The power is gone.

So I'm now vigilant.

I'm still taking a few things for granted, like the sun rising, but I do take a moment now and then to watch it rise and allow myself to bask in the awesomeness of it.

Small steps.

If anything good has come from my facing my mortality it's this.