I've pretty much lived my whole life in one form of fear or another. I used to tell myself that the fear was just my common sense keeping me from making stupid mistakes. Now I'm not so sure.
Yes, I will readily admit I was a bit of a risk taker as a youth. I was immortal, after all.
But that's not the kind of fear I'm talking about now. I'm acknowledging for possibly the first time ever, an intangible fear within myself that has kept me for the better part of my life, standing still.
I'm afraid of trying.
I always have been.
I'm far less afraid of failing than I am of actually trying. How weird is that?
Coming now to this point in my life where I am becoming introspective, or should I say retrospective (since I'm looking internally to the past) I am coming to terms with the simple fact that, I cannot afford to maintain this ridiculous fear.
This all comes down to my bucket list.
I've been adding things to my list, that I would feel I lost out on, if I did not experience them before dying, while still being within the realm of possibility. Sure, I'd like to experience space flight, but without Lotto-style funding, that is not within my scope.
I've deciding to also add things that I have not experienced due to fear of trying.
Because quite frankly, I'm tired of living in fear.
If I am going to die, I want to die without fear.
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