Today was a bad day...

It doesn't happen as often as it used to, in the before time.

Generally speaking I have good days. I feel good, I have no pain, I have energy, and simply I feel nigh invulnerable.

Today was not one of those days.

I'm achy, I'm cranky, I'm tired, I'm cold, and quite frankly I'm not happy about it.

I'm on a catch-all antibiotic, since my immune system is not up to par, and once again my platelets are low. Of course the side effects of the antibiotic are worse than the symptoms.

I can deal with pain. I can deal with the chills. It's the fatigue that "tires" me out.

See what I did there? Corny jokes may be a side effect too. I'll have to look it up.

I don't understand how I went from feeling like a rockstar (I ran a 5k on Sunday. My first... And one of my bucket list entries.) to feeling like a lump of mashed potatoes. The chunky/watery type no one likes.

I still got myself out the door this morning for my 2.2 mile run, and I almost felt normal during it. Once I got home and into bed, my illness came back with a pimpslap Dolemite would applaud.

I hate days like this.

They make me face the awful truth that no matter how much positivity I surround myself with, no matter how much I accomplish, that in the end, none of it matters.

I'm dying.

And I don't want to die just yet.