Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Occupy this! I am the 1%...

No, I am not among the wealthiest 1% of Americans.

What I am is the legendary statistical 1% that exists in all of life's caveats.

You know... "This treatment is 99% effective" or "There's only a 1 in a million chance of possible side effects." Say hello to the 1 in a million to experience the side effect, or the 1% which will not react effectively to said treatment.

The whole life I have been the 1%. Sometimes it has worked in my favor, such as achieving a high scores in school. However, for the most part it has been more of a burden than a blessing.

When I visit my doctor and ask for the worse case scenario, I am told I should be less pessimistic. I am told I should be positive and think good thoughts and not worry about that small 1% chance of something going off script.

Excuse me.

I guess you would know my track record better than me, seeing as though you've known me for 6 months and can't seem to remember my name without looking in my chart. I guess my 35 years of living as the human exception to the rule does not qualify me to plan ahead for what can most certainly occur TO ME.

I apologize for my arrogance, in wanting to be informed of ALL eventualities.

The pathetic thing is, even though I know without a shadow of doubt that I will be the statistical variance, I still maintain hope that this one time, just once, that I will beat the odds.

I have hope.

I am positive.

I will fight.

So fuck you Dr. Know-Nothing. Fuck you in the ass.

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